Books I read: “”Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit …”

“Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit : Let the Body by Your Guide to New Consciousness and Deeper Spirituality in a Changing Age” by Genia Pauli Hadden

Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit: Let the Body Be Your Guide to New Consciousness and Deeper Spirituality in a Changing Age by Genia Pauli Hadden explores the integration of physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of being, emphasizing how the body serves as a guide to personal growth and deeper spirituality. Here are the key themes of the book:

1. Body as a Spiritual Gateway:

  • Hadden emphasizes that the body is not just a vessel but a sacred tool for spiritual awakening. She argues that we can achieve a greater consciousness by paying attention to the sensations, energy, and wisdom our bodies offer.
  • The body’s natural rhythms, feelings, and sexuality are presented as pathways to connect with higher consciousness and the divine.

2. Integration of Sex, Self, and Spirit:

  • The book promotes the integration of sexuality with spirituality, asserting that sexuality is a powerful energy that, when understood and respected, can lead to deeper self-awareness and spiritual enlightenment.
  • Hadden advocates for a holistic approach where sexual energy is not suppressed but embraced as part of one’s spiritual and personal evolution.

3. Healing and Wholeness:

  • Central to Hadden’s teachings is the idea that modern society often fragments the self, leading to disconnection between the mind, body, and spirit. She offers practices to reunite these aspects to achieve wholeness and balance.
  • This process of integration allows individuals to heal emotional and spiritual wounds by listening to the body’s messages and honoring its needs.

4. Challenging Traditional Paradigms:

  • Hadden challenges conventional religious and cultural views that separate sexuality and spirituality or view the body as sinful or inferior to the mind or spirit. She offers a redefinition of spirituality that honors the sacredness of the physical experience.
  • The book advocates for a shift away from dualistic thinking, where body and spirit are seen as separate, toward a unified vision of existence.

5. Consciousness and Energy Flow:

  • Hadden discusses the flow of energy within the body, including sexual energy, as a key to accessing higher states of consciousness. Practices that enhance energy awareness—such as breathing techniques, movement, and meditation—are suggested to help individuals tap into this flow.
  • The concept of kundalini energy is often implied, where awakening this energy leads to spiritual enlightenment and the full integration of body and spirit.

6. Sacred Sexuality and Tantric Elements:

  • The book draws upon elements of sacred sexuality and Tantra, where sexuality is seen as a spiritual practice. By engaging in mindful, loving sexual relationships, individuals can experience deeper connections with themselves and others, transcending purely physical pleasure to reach spiritual bliss.
  • Sacred sexuality is presented as a means to awaken divine energy within the body.

7. Transformation in a Changing Age:

  • Hadden writes about the spiritual shifts in contemporary society, where there is a growing openness to integrating body and spirit. She argues that as society evolves, people are increasingly looking for ways to unify their personal, sexual, and spiritual identities.
  • The book offers tools to navigate these changes, encouraging individuals to trust their bodies as they move through spiritual transformation.

8. Empowerment and Authenticity:

  • By aligning with the body’s natural wisdom, Hadden asserts that individuals can experience greater empowerment and authenticity. She encourages readers to embrace their bodies, their sexual desires, and their spiritual longings without shame or fear.
  • Authenticity is a key to living a spiritually fulfilling life, where one’s true self is expressed fully, both in physical and spiritual terms.

9. Mindfulness and Embodiment:

  • The book stresses the importance of mindfulness and being fully present in the body. Practices such as mindful movement, meditation, and conscious touch are recommended to help people reconnect with their bodies and experience life more deeply.
  • Hadden encourages a shift from intellectual or abstract spiritual practices to those that involve being fully embodied, experiencing the world through the senses.

10. Personal Journey and Inner Wisdom:

  • The path to uniting sex, self, and spirit is portrayed as a deeply personal journey. Hadden provides guidance but emphasizes that each person’s experience of spirituality through the body will be unique.
  • She urges readers to trust their own inner wisdom and the messages their bodies send, suggesting that the body holds the key to personal transformation and spiritual awakening.

In summary, Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit seeks to bridge the often-separated realms of sexuality and spirituality, encouraging readers to view the body as a sacred, powerful tool for spiritual growth. Hadden promotes a holistic and integrated approach to living, where embracing physical experiences, particularly those involving sexuality, leads to a fuller and more profound connection with the self and the divine.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

The give and take of rejection

Why is it that one tiny word, “No”, can evoke so much fear into the hearts and minds of so many? Part of everyday life as a sales professional requires you to handle rejection day in and day out. How well do you cope? What can you do to more effectively handle rejection?

First up, let’s explore what it is that is being rejected. 

Personality
Rejection, or criticism, of you is aimed at your personality or ego. There is no escaping it and can leave you deflated at best or demoralised at worst. Character assassinations of this type are not constructive for the soul.

Behaviour
Your behaviour is one step removed from your ego self. It reflects a choice that you made in the circumstances at a point in time. Hey, we all make mistakes (or bad choices), so you have the capacity to learn from them and make alternate choices. In coaching I ask my clients only two things, make conscious choices and accept the consequence of those choices. 

As a rule of thumb criticise the behaviour not the person.

Relationship Selling
There are two approaches to selling – relationship selling and transactional selling. If you adopt the former then rejection may only be a temporary setback. The relationship remains intact and you have the opportunity to re-group and re-engage.

Transactional Selling
If your approach is transactional then rejection may signal ‘game over’. Unfortunately this is the approach used in many sales transactions and certainly in cold calling approaches. 

Your objective should be to reframe the “No” into “No, not at this time”. This gives you a re-entry point and time to assess where your strategy failed. Always work with the mindset that “failure is feedback” and ask your prospect “What could have I done differently to win your business?” or “What would it take to win the deal?”

This is priceless because your prospect is now giving you the reason why. It may highlight the very objection where you lost out and present an opportunity to close the objection.

Emotion
Make no mistake rejection is as difficult for the person saying “No” as it is for you to hear it. Why? Because many mistake what they are rejecting and get caught up in their own discomfort in conveying it. 

Rejection evokes emotion – yours and theirs. 

Coming back to relationship selling, if you have nurtured the relationship and given generously of your time, knowledge, ideas, and attention then your prospect will feel a sense of indebtedness to you. Note, indebtedness is a feeling, not a logical thought.

Most decisions are made emotionally and justified rationally.

The universal Law of Reciprocity applies here. When you do things for someone they feel a growing sense of indebtedness or loyalty to do something in return, hopefully the transaction or even a referral.

Logic
Sometimes your proposal will be rejected for logical reasons, eg better offer, cheaper price, more window space, better location, more passers-by and so on.

Once again learn from your mistakes, refine your skills or change your behaviour and re-engage.

Words & Action
If you don’t walk your talk then you may expect rejection. Of all communications only 7% relates to the words being said. The majority, 93% relates to your body language and tone of voice.

Walk your talk or risk losing the business.

Success Tips
What can you do to better handle rejection in its many forms? Try these:

1. Detach from your emotions. Remember that most rejection is not personal. Take the opportunity to ask for feedback and learn your lessons. Tip: Don’t give feedback on feedback.

2. Shift to relationship selling mode. Even if the relationship is a brief one show that you care. That’s what service delivery is all about.

3. Respect your customer’s decision. Even it defies logic remember that most decisions are illogical anyway. Having said that work it to your advantage. Practice reading emotions and body language.

There are only two rules of selling:
No.1 The customer is always right, and 
No. 2 Re-read rule No. 1

4. Focus on being of service. This is where you deliver the added value, which justifies your price premium. Too many salespeople find themselves competing on price. Find and deliver the value.

5. Treat doing business and the human interaction that comes with it as a game. Have some fun with it. Emotions (the trigger for most decisions) are a form of energy and the easiest energy to share is humour and fun. So, there you have it. Who would have thought that being rejected could end up so much fun?

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au