How to negotiate with integrity

For some the worlds of negotiation and integrity may seem poles apart. How can you ensure you get what you want whilst retaining your integrity? Well, according to sales guru Jack Collis negotiators fall into one of three categories:

  1. Soft negotiator – where the negotiator avoids conflict at all costs, seeks an amicable agreement, will often give away (rather than trade) concessions, take the path of least resistance and often end up feeling like they have been exploited.
  2. Hard negotiator – believes that negotiation is a contest and test of wills. It is a battleground where only the tough will survive. This approach is based on being as competitive as possible and winning at all costs. Here there are no prizes for coming second.
  3. Principled negotiator – will explore win/win outcomes, seek to understand the others perspective, preserve the customer relationship, separate the person from the problem and focus on interests not positions. They will be soft on the person and hard on the problem.

Collis suggests that there are five negotiation styles. They are:

  1. Compete – a competitor seeks a win/lose outcome. I get what I want and you don’t. Simply put, my aim is to beat you. I don’t care what the fallout is as long as I get my objective.
  2. Compromise – we reach a win/win outcome but it less than an optimal win/win outcome. We may both trade concessions.
  3. Co-operate – we both achieve a win/win outcome. Ultimately a principled negotiator is seeking this outcome. It is the ideal for relationship selling where the preservation of the customer relationship is key.
  4. Accommodate – this is a lose/win outcome where I give more than perhaps I should in order to get your business. I may resent having done so.
  5. Avoid – lose/lose outcome where neither party is satisfied and the relationship will disintegrate very quickly. Either or both parties will withdraw from the relationship.

Before entering a negotiation choose your negotiating style. Different situations will call for different styles of negotiation so think through which may be appropriate for the circumstances.

Before the negotiation starts make sure you know what you want. If all goes well what outcome do you seek? And it is also important for you to identify your best alternative should your ideal not be possible. Determine your negotiation range.

Seller’s asking price  480,000
Buyer will not pay more than460,000  
Estimated worth 450,000 
Seller will not accept less than  440,000
Buyer’s offer price420,000  

The shaded area represents the real negotiation range, eg $440,000 to $460,000.

Here is how you can use principled negotiation whilst preserving your customer relationships, achieving a win/win outcome and maintaining your own integrity.

  1. Separate people from the problem.
    Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Take the time to listen to, and fully understand,  their needs. And take the time to fully understand your own needs too. It really is your responsibility to openly communicate your needs to them. If your customer shares your desire to negotiate a win/win outcome then they will be receptive to your needs.
  2. Be soft on the person and hard on the issue.
    Take time to actively listen to them and empathise with their feelings. Seek to understand their problems and empathise with their feelings. Remember you cannot understand feelings, you can only empathise with them. This is the most common mistake that I come across in personal coaching. When someone says “I am angry”, don’t respond with “I understand” but rather explore what they feel and how they express it.
  3. Listen is learning.
    When you are listening you are learning. The objective of a good negotiator is to listen and lead your customer to speak. I order to reach a win/win you must share two-way communication. If this is not present, ask yourself what negotiation style the other party has adopted. If they are competing with you, question whether the relationship is one you want to persevere with.
  4. Opinion and response.
    Talk about yourself, the problem and how it impacts you rather than what they did. Rather than “You broke your word” say “I feel let down.” Your feelings are your feelings. They are not grounds for debate.
  5. Trade concessions.
    Never give concessions without receiving something in return. If you are willing to trade then say “I’ll extend your payment terms by 30 days, and in return, I want an exclusive supply agreement with your company for twelve months.”
  6. Ask open questions.
    You will be in a stronger negotiating position if you get them to open the negotiation. It gives you an opportunity to respond to their opening position. Ask, “What is it that you would like to achieve from this meeting?”

Negotiating is a skill, and like all skills, it can be learned. The opportunities for you to practice your negotiations skill are limitless.  So, I encourage you read, learn and practice the skill of negotiation.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

The give and take of rejection

Why is it that one tiny word, “No”, can evoke so much fear into the hearts and minds of so many? Part of everyday life as a sales professional requires you to handle rejection day in and day out. How well do you cope? What can you do to more effectively handle rejection?

First up, let’s explore what it is that is being rejected. 

Personality
Rejection, or criticism, of you is aimed at your personality or ego. There is no escaping it and can leave you deflated at best or demoralised at worst. Character assassinations of this type are not constructive for the soul.

Behaviour
Your behaviour is one step removed from your ego self. It reflects a choice that you made in the circumstances at a point in time. Hey, we all make mistakes (or bad choices), so you have the capacity to learn from them and make alternate choices. In coaching I ask my clients only two things, make conscious choices and accept the consequence of those choices. 

As a rule of thumb criticise the behaviour not the person.

Relationship Selling
There are two approaches to selling – relationship selling and transactional selling. If you adopt the former then rejection may only be a temporary setback. The relationship remains intact and you have the opportunity to re-group and re-engage.

Transactional Selling
If your approach is transactional then rejection may signal ‘game over’. Unfortunately this is the approach used in many sales transactions and certainly in cold calling approaches. 

Your objective should be to reframe the “No” into “No, not at this time”. This gives you a re-entry point and time to assess where your strategy failed. Always work with the mindset that “failure is feedback” and ask your prospect “What could have I done differently to win your business?” or “What would it take to win the deal?”

This is priceless because your prospect is now giving you the reason why. It may highlight the very objection where you lost out and present an opportunity to close the objection.

Emotion
Make no mistake rejection is as difficult for the person saying “No” as it is for you to hear it. Why? Because many mistake what they are rejecting and get caught up in their own discomfort in conveying it. 

Rejection evokes emotion – yours and theirs. 

Coming back to relationship selling, if you have nurtured the relationship and given generously of your time, knowledge, ideas, and attention then your prospect will feel a sense of indebtedness to you. Note, indebtedness is a feeling, not a logical thought.

Most decisions are made emotionally and justified rationally.

The universal Law of Reciprocity applies here. When you do things for someone they feel a growing sense of indebtedness or loyalty to do something in return, hopefully the transaction or even a referral.

Logic
Sometimes your proposal will be rejected for logical reasons, eg better offer, cheaper price, more window space, better location, more passers-by and so on.

Once again learn from your mistakes, refine your skills or change your behaviour and re-engage.

Words & Action
If you don’t walk your talk then you may expect rejection. Of all communications only 7% relates to the words being said. The majority, 93% relates to your body language and tone of voice.

Walk your talk or risk losing the business.

Success Tips
What can you do to better handle rejection in its many forms? Try these:

1. Detach from your emotions. Remember that most rejection is not personal. Take the opportunity to ask for feedback and learn your lessons. Tip: Don’t give feedback on feedback.

2. Shift to relationship selling mode. Even if the relationship is a brief one show that you care. That’s what service delivery is all about.

3. Respect your customer’s decision. Even it defies logic remember that most decisions are illogical anyway. Having said that work it to your advantage. Practice reading emotions and body language.

There are only two rules of selling:
No.1 The customer is always right, and 
No. 2 Re-read rule No. 1

4. Focus on being of service. This is where you deliver the added value, which justifies your price premium. Too many salespeople find themselves competing on price. Find and deliver the value.

5. Treat doing business and the human interaction that comes with it as a game. Have some fun with it. Emotions (the trigger for most decisions) are a form of energy and the easiest energy to share is humour and fun. So, there you have it. Who would have thought that being rejected could end up so much fun?

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

Coaching in the modern era

Much has changed in the twenty odd years I have been involved in the coaching industry. People have come and people have gone. New technologies have surpassed the old and a new generation of workers have entered the workforce.

Some things haven’t changed and they include human motivation and personal challenges.

The way we do business has moved, in part, thanks to a global pandemic. Working remotely is much more accepted and allows us to work across global boundaries with ease.

This much is a good thing.

So, it’s back to future for me …. and onward and upward.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au