Is it time for a digital detox?

A digital detox involves taking a break from digital devices and technology to reduce stress, improve focus, and reconnect with the offline world. Here’s a guide to help you effectively manage a digital detox:

1. Set Clear Goals

  • Define your purpose: Are you looking to reduce screen time, improve mental health, or focus on relationships? Knowing your “why” makes the detox more intentional.
  • Decide on duration: Choose a specific time frame, such as a weekend, week, or month.

2. Plan Your Detox

  • Identify problem areas: Note which devices or apps consume the most time (e.g., social media, news sites, games).
  • Set boundaries: Decide when and where you’ll use digital devices. For example, no phones at meals or after 8 p.m.
  • Schedule tech-free activities: Replace screen time with hobbies, exercise, or nature walks.

3. Gradual Disconnect

  • Start small: Begin with short periods of disconnection, like 1 hour per day or a screen-free evening, and gradually extend the duration.
  • Turn off non-essential notifications: Disable alerts for social media, news apps, or anything that’s not urgent.

4. Create Tech-Free Zones

  • Physical spaces: Make areas of your home, such as the bedroom or dining room, tech-free zones.
  • Work boundaries: Limit after-hours work emails or set an auto-response during off-hours.

5. Find Alternatives

  • Replace scrolling: Carry a book, notebook, or activity to engage in when you would typically reach for your phone.
  • Engage offline: Prioritize face-to-face conversations or outdoor activities.

6. Use Technology to Help

  • Time-tracking apps: Use apps like “Screen Time” (iOS) or “Digital Wellbeing” (Android) to monitor your device use and set limits.
  • Block distracting apps: Apps like “Freedom” or “Offtime” can block access to websites and apps during your detox.

7. Involve Others

  • Social support: Share your detox goals with friends or family to make it a joint effort. This helps with accountability.
  • Communicate boundaries: Let people know you’ll be less available, so they understand why you might not respond immediately.

8. Reflect and Adjust

  • Track benefits: After the detox period, reflect on how you feel mentally and physically.
  • Reintegrate mindfully: When reintroducing digital devices, establish healthier long-term habits like scheduled screen breaks or intentional use of apps.

By balancing mindful use of technology with time away from screens, a digital detox can help you recharge and reconnect with what matters most offline.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities.
Visit www.coachpro.com.au

Books I read: “”Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit …”

“Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit : Let the Body by Your Guide to New Consciousness and Deeper Spirituality in a Changing Age” by Genia Pauli Hadden

Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit: Let the Body Be Your Guide to New Consciousness and Deeper Spirituality in a Changing Age by Genia Pauli Hadden explores the integration of physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of being, emphasizing how the body serves as a guide to personal growth and deeper spirituality. Here are the key themes of the book:

1. Body as a Spiritual Gateway:

  • Hadden emphasizes that the body is not just a vessel but a sacred tool for spiritual awakening. She argues that we can achieve a greater consciousness by paying attention to the sensations, energy, and wisdom our bodies offer.
  • The body’s natural rhythms, feelings, and sexuality are presented as pathways to connect with higher consciousness and the divine.

2. Integration of Sex, Self, and Spirit:

  • The book promotes the integration of sexuality with spirituality, asserting that sexuality is a powerful energy that, when understood and respected, can lead to deeper self-awareness and spiritual enlightenment.
  • Hadden advocates for a holistic approach where sexual energy is not suppressed but embraced as part of one’s spiritual and personal evolution.

3. Healing and Wholeness:

  • Central to Hadden’s teachings is the idea that modern society often fragments the self, leading to disconnection between the mind, body, and spirit. She offers practices to reunite these aspects to achieve wholeness and balance.
  • This process of integration allows individuals to heal emotional and spiritual wounds by listening to the body’s messages and honoring its needs.

4. Challenging Traditional Paradigms:

  • Hadden challenges conventional religious and cultural views that separate sexuality and spirituality or view the body as sinful or inferior to the mind or spirit. She offers a redefinition of spirituality that honors the sacredness of the physical experience.
  • The book advocates for a shift away from dualistic thinking, where body and spirit are seen as separate, toward a unified vision of existence.

5. Consciousness and Energy Flow:

  • Hadden discusses the flow of energy within the body, including sexual energy, as a key to accessing higher states of consciousness. Practices that enhance energy awareness—such as breathing techniques, movement, and meditation—are suggested to help individuals tap into this flow.
  • The concept of kundalini energy is often implied, where awakening this energy leads to spiritual enlightenment and the full integration of body and spirit.

6. Sacred Sexuality and Tantric Elements:

  • The book draws upon elements of sacred sexuality and Tantra, where sexuality is seen as a spiritual practice. By engaging in mindful, loving sexual relationships, individuals can experience deeper connections with themselves and others, transcending purely physical pleasure to reach spiritual bliss.
  • Sacred sexuality is presented as a means to awaken divine energy within the body.

7. Transformation in a Changing Age:

  • Hadden writes about the spiritual shifts in contemporary society, where there is a growing openness to integrating body and spirit. She argues that as society evolves, people are increasingly looking for ways to unify their personal, sexual, and spiritual identities.
  • The book offers tools to navigate these changes, encouraging individuals to trust their bodies as they move through spiritual transformation.

8. Empowerment and Authenticity:

  • By aligning with the body’s natural wisdom, Hadden asserts that individuals can experience greater empowerment and authenticity. She encourages readers to embrace their bodies, their sexual desires, and their spiritual longings without shame or fear.
  • Authenticity is a key to living a spiritually fulfilling life, where one’s true self is expressed fully, both in physical and spiritual terms.

9. Mindfulness and Embodiment:

  • The book stresses the importance of mindfulness and being fully present in the body. Practices such as mindful movement, meditation, and conscious touch are recommended to help people reconnect with their bodies and experience life more deeply.
  • Hadden encourages a shift from intellectual or abstract spiritual practices to those that involve being fully embodied, experiencing the world through the senses.

10. Personal Journey and Inner Wisdom:

  • The path to uniting sex, self, and spirit is portrayed as a deeply personal journey. Hadden provides guidance but emphasizes that each person’s experience of spirituality through the body will be unique.
  • She urges readers to trust their own inner wisdom and the messages their bodies send, suggesting that the body holds the key to personal transformation and spiritual awakening.

In summary, Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit seeks to bridge the often-separated realms of sexuality and spirituality, encouraging readers to view the body as a sacred, powerful tool for spiritual growth. Hadden promotes a holistic and integrated approach to living, where embracing physical experiences, particularly those involving sexuality, leads to a fuller and more profound connection with the self and the divine.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

What are the key features of 360 diagnostic tool

The 360 Diagnostic (often referred to as a 360-degree diagnostic or assessment) is a feedback tool used in professional development and organizational settings to provide a holistic evaluation of an individual or organization. It gathers insights from a range of sources, including supervisors, peers, direct reports, and sometimes customers. The goal is to help individuals gain a well-rounded perspective of their strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement.

Key Features of a 360 Diagnostic:

  1. Multi-Rater Feedback:
    • Feedback is collected from multiple sources or raters, including managers, peers, direct reports, and sometimes external stakeholders.
    • This diverse feedback provides a more balanced and comprehensive view compared to traditional top-down evaluations.
  2. Self-Assessment:
    • Along with receiving feedback from others, the individual also completes a self-assessment.
    • This allows for comparisons between how they perceive themselves and how others perceive their performance or behavior.
  3. Comprehensive Feedback Categories:
    • Feedback typically covers various aspects such as leadership, communication, collaboration, emotional intelligence, decision-making, and other key competencies relevant to the role or organization.
  4. Anonymity of Responses:
    • To encourage honest and candid feedback, responses from peers and subordinates are usually kept anonymous.
    • This helps reduce bias and fear of repercussion.
  5. Developmental Focus:
    • The primary aim is not to judge but to identify areas for growth and improvement.
    • Results are often used to create personal development plans or performance enhancement strategies.
  6. Quantitative and Qualitative Data:
    • 360 diagnostics combine numeric ratings (e.g., rating scales for specific competencies) and qualitative comments (open-ended feedback).
    • This blend provides both measurable insights and richer, descriptive feedback.
  7. Customized to Role and Organization:
    • Assessments are often tailored to the specific competencies required for the role or the organizational culture and values.
    • This makes the feedback more relevant and actionable.
  8. Visual Reports:
    • The feedback is often presented in a user-friendly format with visual aids like graphs, charts, and summaries, making it easier to digest the data.
  9. Actionable Insights:
    • The feedback is designed to be constructive, providing clear direction for professional development.
    • This often includes recommendations for training, coaching, or targeted development programs.
  10. Follow-up and Continuous Improvement:
    • After the assessment, some organizations schedule follow-up assessments to track progress and measure improvements over time.

The 360 diagnostic is commonly used for leadership development, performance appraisals, and enhancing team dynamics.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

What are the top 5 coaching skills?

The top five coaching skills that are essential for effective coaching include:

  1. Active Listening
    This involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what the client is saying. Active listening helps build trust and encourages open communication.
  2. Powerful Questioning
    Asking open-ended, thought-provoking questions helps clients reflect, gain clarity, and explore their challenges and goals deeply. It stimulates self-discovery and promotes critical thinking.
  3. Empathy
    The ability to understand and relate to a client’s feelings and perspectives allows coaches to create a supportive and non-judgmental environment. Empathy builds rapport and trust.
  4. Goal Setting
    Helping clients define clear, achievable, and measurable goals is a crucial part of coaching. Effective goal setting involves aligning the client’s values and motivations with their desired outcomes.
  5. Providing Feedback
    Offering constructive, unbiased feedback helps clients recognize blind spots and areas for growth. Effective feedback is timely, specific, and focused on actions and behaviors rather than personal traits.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

The five secrets to active listening

The five secrets to active listening are often regarded as essential skills to truly engage with and understand others during communication. Here’s a breakdown:

  1. Pay Full Attention: Give the speaker your undivided focus. This means eliminating distractions (e.g., phones, multitasking) and maintaining eye contact to show you’re fully present. It helps convey that you value what the speaker is saying.
  2. Reflect Back What You’ve Heard: Paraphrasing or summarizing what the speaker has said shows that you understand their message. You can use phrases like, “So what you’re saying is…” or “It sounds like you’re feeling…” This confirms understanding and clarifies any potential confusion.
  3. Avoid Interrupting: Let the speaker express themselves fully without cutting them off. Interruptions can signal that you’re more focused on your response than their message. Practice patience, and allow the speaker to complete their thought.
  4. Show Empathy: Respond not just to the words, but to the emotions behind them. Acknowledge the speaker’s feelings, and validate their perspective, even if you don’t agree with it. Phrases like “I can understand why you feel that way” can help create connection and trust.
  5. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage deeper conversation by asking questions that invite elaboration. Instead of yes/no questions, ask “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think about…?” This shows curiosity and engagement in what the speaker is saying.

These practices enhance connection, build trust, and foster better communication in personal and professional settings.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

The keys to improving your performance

When your financial rewards are performance based, you are confronted with a major challenge – How do you lift and sustain your performance levels?

As a real estate professional, you have to contend with  variables such as increasing competition for listings, margin squeeze, unrealistic reserve prices and mounting pressure to work around the clock and more. Yet, whilst they are valid concerns these issues are business issues and not true performance issues.

End Goals v Performance Goals

When setting goals many miss the fundamental distinction between End Goals and Performance Goals.

End Goals are the outcomes or results you achieve from doing something, for example sales turnover, commission fees, clearance rates, profit margin are all End Goals. They are measured ex post facto (after the fact). They are also known as lag indicators. End Goals are the rewards or the carrots that motivate you to achieve them.

Performance Goals, on the other hand, are the drivers that get you the results. For example,  property listings, outbound calls, open days, number of prospects, word or mouth referrals. This is where the hard yards are done. Your performance incentive schemes must incorporate these measures to encourage the right behaviour. Measurement of these lead indicators will give you predictive measures of future success. Success is the cumulative effect of doing the little things day-by-day.

“Performance Goals are the cause,
End Goals are the effect.”

Lead and Lag indicators form an integral part of what Harvard academics, Kaplan and Norton, call a Balanced Scorecard. Many of the larger real estate franchise groups use Balanced Scorecard measures, as do large corporations. They are equally applicable to small firms and are essential to driving performance to higher levels.

What drives Performance?

So, if performance drives results, what drives performance?

Two things drive performance:
– Skill (the learned knowledge of how to do a task), and
– Behaviour (the making of a conscious/subconscious choice)

To determine which you are dealing with ask yourself the question – Does this person know how or what to do? If the answer is yes, then as they have the skill and it’s likely to be a behavioural issue. If they answer no, then a training solution may be appropriate. With a well-trained sales professional I’d be betting on behaviours most of the time.

Behaviour is about choice. Given the circumstances, what choice did you make? Ok, so sometimes you make a good choice and sometimes you don’t. I’ll leave it for you to judge what is good and bad. In the process consider:

  1. Did I make a conscious choice? and
  2. Do I accept the consequences of my choices?

The one unescapable fact of life is that you will make mistakes and that’s ok. Just learn your lessons and don’t make them twice! Having said that, there does come a time where if you have a performer that just doesn’t cut it, then this is a great model to manage a poor performer.

I’ll assume you know what it takes to be successful. So, we have the skills. Let’s explore your behaviour. Aha, let me get this clear, you know what you need to do but you didn’t do it? Houston, we have a problem! What we may have here is a self-defeating behaviour. Short of surgical removing your frontal lobes what I’d suggest is that we explore what choice you made. By merely raising it to your conscious awareness we now empower you to, you guessed it, make a choice.

The Secrets to my Success

We enact our behaviour. Often we do so subconsciously. That’s why I emphasise making conscious choices to start. Most of us can relate to making the same mistakes. You know the one – the negative patterns we fall for over and over again. We repeat these behaviours because we have relegated them into our subconscious – the realm of our autopilot.

Yes, behaviours do run in patterns because you have essentially programmed them into your subconscious.

Now, for the good news!

These behavioural patterns apply to your positive behaviours too! You have your own unique DNA formula for your successes in life. Just as you repeat the same negative behaviours that cause you dysfunctional, the opposite is also true. You repeat your successful choices, as subconscious patterns,  too.

Isn’t it about time you balanced the ledger and paid attention to the good decisions you are making? If you can unlock and understand what works for you, imagine what you may begin to achieve in your life. You can have anything.

I encourage you to read up on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) for it is the study of how to unlock your patterns of success. It is the basis of Anthony Robbins works a well as most personal development gurus. It is a must read topic.

Most business coaches rely upon a key principal of performance measurement. And to let you in on there secret, here it is:

“The very act of measuring something focuses
your energy and attention on it. You cannot help
but improve your performance.”

When you have clearly set goals, objective performance measures, regular performance reviews and take consistent actions to towards your goals you have an empowered model for sustainable performance improvement.

I’ll leave with these words of wisdom – if you accept that the universal Law of Abundance does prevail and you can have anything you want, there is really only one question to ask yourself – what do you want?

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

How to negotiate with integrity

For some the worlds of negotiation and integrity may seem poles apart. How can you ensure you get what you want whilst retaining your integrity? Well, according to sales guru Jack Collis negotiators fall into one of three categories:

  1. Soft negotiator – where the negotiator avoids conflict at all costs, seeks an amicable agreement, will often give away (rather than trade) concessions, take the path of least resistance and often end up feeling like they have been exploited.
  2. Hard negotiator – believes that negotiation is a contest and test of wills. It is a battleground where only the tough will survive. This approach is based on being as competitive as possible and winning at all costs. Here there are no prizes for coming second.
  3. Principled negotiator – will explore win/win outcomes, seek to understand the others perspective, preserve the customer relationship, separate the person from the problem and focus on interests not positions. They will be soft on the person and hard on the problem.

Collis suggests that there are five negotiation styles. They are:

  1. Compete – a competitor seeks a win/lose outcome. I get what I want and you don’t. Simply put, my aim is to beat you. I don’t care what the fallout is as long as I get my objective.
  2. Compromise – we reach a win/win outcome but it less than an optimal win/win outcome. We may both trade concessions.
  3. Co-operate – we both achieve a win/win outcome. Ultimately a principled negotiator is seeking this outcome. It is the ideal for relationship selling where the preservation of the customer relationship is key.
  4. Accommodate – this is a lose/win outcome where I give more than perhaps I should in order to get your business. I may resent having done so.
  5. Avoid – lose/lose outcome where neither party is satisfied and the relationship will disintegrate very quickly. Either or both parties will withdraw from the relationship.

Before entering a negotiation choose your negotiating style. Different situations will call for different styles of negotiation so think through which may be appropriate for the circumstances.

Before the negotiation starts make sure you know what you want. If all goes well what outcome do you seek? And it is also important for you to identify your best alternative should your ideal not be possible. Determine your negotiation range.

Seller’s asking price  480,000
Buyer will not pay more than460,000  
Estimated worth 450,000 
Seller will not accept less than  440,000
Buyer’s offer price420,000  

The shaded area represents the real negotiation range, eg $440,000 to $460,000.

Here is how you can use principled negotiation whilst preserving your customer relationships, achieving a win/win outcome and maintaining your own integrity.

  1. Separate people from the problem.
    Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Take the time to listen to, and fully understand,  their needs. And take the time to fully understand your own needs too. It really is your responsibility to openly communicate your needs to them. If your customer shares your desire to negotiate a win/win outcome then they will be receptive to your needs.
  2. Be soft on the person and hard on the issue.
    Take time to actively listen to them and empathise with their feelings. Seek to understand their problems and empathise with their feelings. Remember you cannot understand feelings, you can only empathise with them. This is the most common mistake that I come across in personal coaching. When someone says “I am angry”, don’t respond with “I understand” but rather explore what they feel and how they express it.
  3. Listen is learning.
    When you are listening you are learning. The objective of a good negotiator is to listen and lead your customer to speak. I order to reach a win/win you must share two-way communication. If this is not present, ask yourself what negotiation style the other party has adopted. If they are competing with you, question whether the relationship is one you want to persevere with.
  4. Opinion and response.
    Talk about yourself, the problem and how it impacts you rather than what they did. Rather than “You broke your word” say “I feel let down.” Your feelings are your feelings. They are not grounds for debate.
  5. Trade concessions.
    Never give concessions without receiving something in return. If you are willing to trade then say “I’ll extend your payment terms by 30 days, and in return, I want an exclusive supply agreement with your company for twelve months.”
  6. Ask open questions.
    You will be in a stronger negotiating position if you get them to open the negotiation. It gives you an opportunity to respond to their opening position. Ask, “What is it that you would like to achieve from this meeting?”

Negotiating is a skill, and like all skills, it can be learned. The opportunities for you to practice your negotiations skill are limitless.  So, I encourage you read, learn and practice the skill of negotiation.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

The give and take of rejection

Why is it that one tiny word, “No”, can evoke so much fear into the hearts and minds of so many? Part of everyday life as a sales professional requires you to handle rejection day in and day out. How well do you cope? What can you do to more effectively handle rejection?

First up, let’s explore what it is that is being rejected. 

Personality
Rejection, or criticism, of you is aimed at your personality or ego. There is no escaping it and can leave you deflated at best or demoralised at worst. Character assassinations of this type are not constructive for the soul.

Behaviour
Your behaviour is one step removed from your ego self. It reflects a choice that you made in the circumstances at a point in time. Hey, we all make mistakes (or bad choices), so you have the capacity to learn from them and make alternate choices. In coaching I ask my clients only two things, make conscious choices and accept the consequence of those choices. 

As a rule of thumb criticise the behaviour not the person.

Relationship Selling
There are two approaches to selling – relationship selling and transactional selling. If you adopt the former then rejection may only be a temporary setback. The relationship remains intact and you have the opportunity to re-group and re-engage.

Transactional Selling
If your approach is transactional then rejection may signal ‘game over’. Unfortunately this is the approach used in many sales transactions and certainly in cold calling approaches. 

Your objective should be to reframe the “No” into “No, not at this time”. This gives you a re-entry point and time to assess where your strategy failed. Always work with the mindset that “failure is feedback” and ask your prospect “What could have I done differently to win your business?” or “What would it take to win the deal?”

This is priceless because your prospect is now giving you the reason why. It may highlight the very objection where you lost out and present an opportunity to close the objection.

Emotion
Make no mistake rejection is as difficult for the person saying “No” as it is for you to hear it. Why? Because many mistake what they are rejecting and get caught up in their own discomfort in conveying it. 

Rejection evokes emotion – yours and theirs. 

Coming back to relationship selling, if you have nurtured the relationship and given generously of your time, knowledge, ideas, and attention then your prospect will feel a sense of indebtedness to you. Note, indebtedness is a feeling, not a logical thought.

Most decisions are made emotionally and justified rationally.

The universal Law of Reciprocity applies here. When you do things for someone they feel a growing sense of indebtedness or loyalty to do something in return, hopefully the transaction or even a referral.

Logic
Sometimes your proposal will be rejected for logical reasons, eg better offer, cheaper price, more window space, better location, more passers-by and so on.

Once again learn from your mistakes, refine your skills or change your behaviour and re-engage.

Words & Action
If you don’t walk your talk then you may expect rejection. Of all communications only 7% relates to the words being said. The majority, 93% relates to your body language and tone of voice.

Walk your talk or risk losing the business.

Success Tips
What can you do to better handle rejection in its many forms? Try these:

1. Detach from your emotions. Remember that most rejection is not personal. Take the opportunity to ask for feedback and learn your lessons. Tip: Don’t give feedback on feedback.

2. Shift to relationship selling mode. Even if the relationship is a brief one show that you care. That’s what service delivery is all about.

3. Respect your customer’s decision. Even it defies logic remember that most decisions are illogical anyway. Having said that work it to your advantage. Practice reading emotions and body language.

There are only two rules of selling:
No.1 The customer is always right, and 
No. 2 Re-read rule No. 1

4. Focus on being of service. This is where you deliver the added value, which justifies your price premium. Too many salespeople find themselves competing on price. Find and deliver the value.

5. Treat doing business and the human interaction that comes with it as a game. Have some fun with it. Emotions (the trigger for most decisions) are a form of energy and the easiest energy to share is humour and fun. So, there you have it. Who would have thought that being rejected could end up so much fun?

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au

Coaching in the modern era

Much has changed in the twenty odd years I have been involved in the coaching industry. People have come and people have gone. New technologies have surpassed the old and a new generation of workers have entered the workforce.

Some things haven’t changed and they include human motivation and personal challenges.

The way we do business has moved, in part, thanks to a global pandemic. Working remotely is much more accepted and allows us to work across global boundaries with ease.

This much is a good thing.

So, it’s back to future for me …. and onward and upward.

About the author

Dennis Roberts is a personal coach, small business mentor and founder of CoachPRO – The Coaching Professionals. His work has won critical acclaim in both the academic and business communities. Visit www.coachpro.com.au