I still remember it. The school bell would ring, and every child in the playground would freeze.
We’d line up in single file. Straight backs. Silent mouths. Eyes forward. We’d march—literally march—back into class.
At the start and end of every recess, we were assembled like a military unit. It wasn’t education. It was basic training.
And no one questioned it.
1️⃣ You Were Trained, Not Taught
Most of us think our schooling was about learning. But what we were really absorbing had little to do with maths or grammar.
We were being socialised. Indoctrinated. Conditioned.
We were learning:
- How to sit still
- How to follow rules
- How to suppress spontaneity
- How to defer to authority without question
Sure, there were lessons. But the real curriculum was compliance.
Lining up. Marching. Obeying the bell. Asking permission to speak, stand, or go to the toilet.
The message was clear: Don’t listen to yourself. Listen to the system.
2️⃣ Systems Reward Control, Not Creativity
Have you ever noticed the irony?
Recess—supposedly a moment of free play—was bookended by discipline. Joy, laughter, spontaneity… tightly hemmed in by bells and borderlines.
We were granted a narrow window to express ourselves… …as long as we returned on time …as long as we lined up again …as long as we kept the chaos contained.
Because systems don’t like unpredictability. Systems don’t like creativity. Systems can’t mass-produce individuality.
What they can produce is:
- Standardised outputs
- Predictable behaviours
- Workers who don’t resist the process
We were being taught order over imagination. Control over curiosity. Timetables over intuition.
3️⃣ The Feminine Was Drilled Out of You Early
This is where it gets deeper. The school system didn’t just suppress playfulness. It systematically drilled out the feminine.
Not women. Feminine energy—the qualities of:
- Flow
- Sensitivity
- Imagination
- Inner knowing
- Non-linear thinking
In its place, we were taught:
- Structure (masculine)
- Achievement (masculine)
- Right answers (masculine)
- Measurable outcomes (masculine)
From the chalkboard to the clock, from the bells to the grading system, from the uniforms to the marching lines—
Everything was designed to reinforce a singular truth: There is one right way to behave.
But life isn’t a spreadsheet. Human potential isn’t a test score. And you are not a factory product.
What Happens When the Feminine Is Missing?
You get adults who:
- Overfunction and underfeel
- Struggle to listen to their own needs
- Prioritise performance over presence
- Feel deeply tired, disconnected, and unsure why
Sound familiar?
This is not a coincidence. This is conditioning. And it started early.
The feminine wasn’t just ignored. It was actively trained out of you.
This Isn’t Nostalgia. It’s an Autopsy.
We don’t talk about this enough. We joke about school memories— the lunch orders, the assemblies, the detentions— as if they were harmless rituals of childhood.
But they weren’t harmless. They shaped us. They shaped how we relate to work, to authority, to ourselves.
That’s not nostalgia. That’s an autopsy.
And if we don’t examine what was drilled into us, we’ll keep recreating the same systems of overwork, underflow, and misalignment— in our careers, in our leadership, and in our lives.
So, What Now?
If you’re reading this and nodding, here’s the good news:
It’s never too late to unlearn.
You can:
- Reclaim the parts of yourself that were silenced
- Honour creativity, softness, and intuition as valid intelligence
- Step out of the rigid expectations and rediscover your own rhythm
You’re not a student anymore. You don’t have to march when the bell rings.
🚸 Coming Soon: School Subjects, Reframed
This article kicks off a new series: “Feminine School”—where I reimagine the subjects we were taught through a different lens.
What if we taught:
- Numeracy as the relationship between One (masculine) and Infinity (feminine)?
- Literacy as language that includes emotion, metaphor, and feminine-coded vocabulary?
- Colours as energetic expressions, not just paint swatches?
- Play as emotional rehearsal for life, not just a break between tests?
This series won’t be about rewriting the curriculum. It’s about rewriting your conditioning.
Because school never taught you how to listen inward. But you can start now.
🔁 If this landed, share it with someone who still hears the bell.
And if you’re ready to unlearn the discipline and rediscover the flow— Take the Test. (Your real education starts there.)